Growth

Of course when we practice something, we want to grow. Why else practice? We keep pushing and pushing until we feel like there is nothing left to learn. Do we move on? How do we handle hitting that ceiling?

Honestly after my trip back from Japan, there was a strange sensation. Kind of a numb feeling. Not to sound arrogant, but I didn't feel like I've really gained anything new per say. With the last entry about kata, it wasn't so much I learned something, it was a realization of what was expected of me. I had the kata already, but I just never realized quite what the difference was. 

But in terms of gekken, kata, tameshigiri. Not sure if there was anything new for me. I like to go to Japan for myself. To compete, and lose, get beat up on, and come back with something new. However I feel the same this time. Don't get me wrong, the experience was great. Don't think I've done this well at the tai kai before, but I don't see tai kai success as a measurement of growth. It's not so much about adding but now about just refining it seems.

Although my personal growth feels a bit numb, my feelings are pushed aside when I see growth in my students. I came back to our class the day after coming back from Japan, and I was watching class a bit while I was fixing up my handle. Watching from the outside and looking at the members. Little things that I take for granted myself, when I see my students do something correctly makes me so ecstatic although I always just show the same face hahaha. I realized helping cultivate growth in other people is much more exciting than seeking growth in myself now. 

So maybe I finished working on my house for now, and instead started building a neighborhood. Exciting.