Self-Reflection of the Year
As much of a cliché as it sounds, this year went by very fast. I’m getting old, sure, but you can also say that this year has been quite eventful. I taught several classes, got a chance to work in a research lab, and even actively met new people (outside the dojo). It might not sound like a big deal at first, but to me, these are things that I normally wouldn’t see myself doing. This is by no means an attempt to do some lame advertising: it’s all thanks to the dojo and learning all things sword-related, three years and counting. As Sang Kim sensei said many times, all of these concepts you learn in the dojo can also be applied outside.
Since the very beginning, I knew what my faults were. I was soft-spoken, had no self-confidence, and
just all around weak. Well, technically I still am weak, but at least that tanren-bo (Bubba) is not as intimidating as the first year. But most of all, I’d like to think that I’ve gotten to be less of an introvert this year. That was my intention prior to joining the dojo.
What I knew even before joining was that the sword is an extension of yourself. Therefore, if you don’t trust yourself, you will only do more harm than good. You could also look at the sword as your faithful partner. If you are not truly in sync with said partner, bad things will happen. It all comes to this: once you learn to trust yourself, you can trust others just as easily. It was a logic that I had lots of trouble getting a grasp of in the first year, but I was determined to change. If I don’t trust myself, I would also end up hurting the ones closest to me, and that’s the last thing I need in my life. That was my motivation to go and sign that waiver.
In terms of self-confidence, committing into something I felt was the most difficult hurdle. The very first day I visited the dojo, I was extremely nervous. At that moment, sensei told me about how tough this class will be in the long run. He even recommended that I take other martial arts to start with. I looked at that as my first test: commitment. Ultimately, I didn’t want any regrets, so I told him while looking straight in the eye, within the lines of, “I really am interested though. I’m prepared.” Not like I didn’t expect it to be tough, and even now, I’m grateful for it. Even in cutting, good form is one thing, but for me, being able to not hesitate was even tougher. Because your target is right in front of you, supposedly you have the time to think about your cuts, but the more time you take, the more likely you will mess up. Thus, lessons were learned: Once you start something, you have to commit. Even if you mess up, you have to be able to sell it somehow. The moment you show that you messed up, you lose. Sounds like things you hear in everyday life, doesn’t it?
Sure, it helps that I’m enjoying what I do, but why wouldn’t you want to? Life is short after all. Besides, productivity is quite nice overall. Here’s to self-improvement in the New Year as well. Keep training hard! I know I will.
Kevin Raz
Since the very beginning, I knew what my faults were. I was soft-spoken, had no self-confidence, and
just all around weak. Well, technically I still am weak, but at least that tanren-bo (Bubba) is not as intimidating as the first year. But most of all, I’d like to think that I’ve gotten to be less of an introvert this year. That was my intention prior to joining the dojo.
What I knew even before joining was that the sword is an extension of yourself. Therefore, if you don’t trust yourself, you will only do more harm than good. You could also look at the sword as your faithful partner. If you are not truly in sync with said partner, bad things will happen. It all comes to this: once you learn to trust yourself, you can trust others just as easily. It was a logic that I had lots of trouble getting a grasp of in the first year, but I was determined to change. If I don’t trust myself, I would also end up hurting the ones closest to me, and that’s the last thing I need in my life. That was my motivation to go and sign that waiver.
In terms of self-confidence, committing into something I felt was the most difficult hurdle. The very first day I visited the dojo, I was extremely nervous. At that moment, sensei told me about how tough this class will be in the long run. He even recommended that I take other martial arts to start with. I looked at that as my first test: commitment. Ultimately, I didn’t want any regrets, so I told him while looking straight in the eye, within the lines of, “I really am interested though. I’m prepared.” Not like I didn’t expect it to be tough, and even now, I’m grateful for it. Even in cutting, good form is one thing, but for me, being able to not hesitate was even tougher. Because your target is right in front of you, supposedly you have the time to think about your cuts, but the more time you take, the more likely you will mess up. Thus, lessons were learned: Once you start something, you have to commit. Even if you mess up, you have to be able to sell it somehow. The moment you show that you messed up, you lose. Sounds like things you hear in everyday life, doesn’t it?
Sure, it helps that I’m enjoying what I do, but why wouldn’t you want to? Life is short after all. Besides, productivity is quite nice overall. Here’s to self-improvement in the New Year as well. Keep training hard! I know I will.
Kevin Raz
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