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This is an email I recently wrote to my students. 

There's a very interesting insight from what I've seen lately, but became much more apparent to me after something that Dan said to me today. 

He said, he's not used to students at our dojo showing him their backs during gekken. 

This really struck me. This kind of angered me. Honestly, I've seen it too since I've come back, but I'm just so happy to be back that sometimes I may not see certain things at the moment. Partly it's my fault since I'm the teacher. So let me give you some insight. 

The art we practice, comes from the art of samurai. Samurai were to be taught not to be afraid of death. If they made a choice, whatever kind of choice. It is to be behind the decision they make until there really is no life left in it. 

This is why the tombo or dragonfly is part of our dojo Kamon. It can only go forward. 

If you do gekken. Don't be afraid to get hit. If something fails, pay for it. Then next time you won't spend it on the same mistake. I don't care who you fight. Whether it's me, Dan, each other, and ESPECIALLY someone from another dojo. You never turn your back to them. Ever. Period. You can be scared, everyone gets scared. It's what you show and how you use being scared to help you. These are with the foam swords, and it's easy to forget what they represent. In Japan, if you go to the final matches at the gekken tournament, you put on armor and fight with blunted steel swords. There is armor everywhere, except your back.  

Going through my recent experience, honestly the night before surgery I wasn't afraid. I was so happy because of all the people I got to meet, all the experiences I had. Even if things went wrong, I was thankful for what I had. I thought to myself, if I'm going to go to the other side, I can do it smiling, or looking like a little bitch. I prefer the former rather than the latter. This is something I learned from my family, and that is the work ethic I started this dojo on. 

So, don't turn your back. Ever. Not at the dojo. Not outside the dojo. If there's anything you learn from our class no matter how long you practice with us it's that. Very few things make me angry, but knowing that some people are willing to turn their backs, is one of them. 

Thanks for reading.