First Cut! By David Ahn

I started attending Byakkokan Dojo back in February of this year. I am drawn to the 

art we practice and the oasis it provides within my time constrained, hectic life. My

situation is by no means unique amongst the 8.5 million inhabitants of New York

City, but in order to cope with the fast-paced events in our lives, we set timetables...

schedules that feed us our daily minutiae, or better yet, become instrumental in

helping us set goals. And one of those major sign posts for me at battodo school

was the 6 month mark... the time when most students should be prepared to begin

cutting mats (based on Sensei’s discretion).



Everything we learn as beginners lead up to that point in our training. From day

one, we learn the importance of perfecting our cuts through the practice of kata, in

addition to gekken sparring. For me, it’s an incredibly humbling experience. Sensei

and the other senior students make the cuts look so easy and effortless! However, a

tremendous amount of practice and technique are involved in a human action that

lasts fractions of a second. So I have the perfect image in my head of what a good

cut should look like, but when I actually perform one, it never appears what I expect

it to be. It can often lead to frustration, but I would keep at it to prepare for that 6

month mark.



It wasn’t until that one June Wednesday evening, that I received an awesome

surprise. Wednesday evenings are cutting nights for the senior students. Beginners

who attend this class are expected to help clean the floors, spike the mats for the

students who are cutting, and most importantly, observe and learn. Since I am a

beginner, I came into the dojo that night with the mindset of doing exactly that.

So after we completed our warm up exercises, Sensei informed me that I could

cut one mat. Wow... that was something I never expected that night and came as a

huge surprise. Mentally, I knew had only just finished month 4 of my training and

technically, I knew my cuts needed a lot of improvement. I didn’t feel prepared. But

Sensei teaches us to never turn our backs and always move forward. His words of

wisdom immediately came to mind and I got pumped up.



As I walked up to the cutting area in the dojo, the only things I remembered were

all the previous lessons I had addressing every aspect of my kesa cut. To be honest,

it was confusing... far too much information swirling around my head and it made

me anxious. As I walked up to the mat and set up in jodan, the only 2 things in

the world at that moment were the mat (staring back at me) and Sensei’s voice

giving me instructions. I had to give him all of my trust, so that I could trust myself.

Then it just happened like a flash. I went through all the cuts and afterwards, I felt

exhilarated. The whole experience consisted of a combination of anxiety, excitement

and concentration all mixed up in a swirling vortex in my head. All in all, it was

truly a memorable moment and afterwards, I couldn’t wait to cut again. It didn’t hit

me until that night, but it became evident that cutting brings full circle to what we

achieve to learn at the dojo. And now, it’s time to set new goals...