Trial by Fire

As my parting "gift" to the dojo, I asked to enter the circle of death.  Of course, most people likely thought it was a silly idea.  And knowing what I've had to deal with physically, and the almost comically small amount of training I've done (relative to how many years I've actually been around) one would wonder why I would subject myself to what would essentially be an organized beating.  To be honest, midway through, I was wondering why I had done this to myself.

Quite simply, it was because I felt that I owed it to myself to try.  I knew that I would be tired too quickly to make it sporting.  I knew perhaps that I would be seen as perhaps weak for not being able to give a stronger challenge as it went on.  Furthermore, I knew that at the end of the day, it would just seem to be a ridiculous farce for outsiders to judge me on.

So why do it?  It's simple - it was to test where I was at, and at the minimum, survive.  To become stronger, and to learn.  To take a risk and perhaps do something good - or die trying.  To prove to yourself, if not others, that your time in the dojo has not been all for naught.  Time heals physical pain, but it will always be a regret if you get by never challenging yourself.

I didn't do as well as I wanted to, and any one who sees the video will likely be quick to judge.  I wouldn't blame them.  Still, I was happy to have volunteered to do this, and happy to have done what I could.  I tried - and I learned a lot from the experience.  The dojo will have a new memory, and I willingly pushed myself to take a challenge that perhaps no one would have insisted I take.  In all, it was worth it.

Push yourself through the pain, test and overcome your limitations, and come out stronger afterwards - accept the circle of death and survive!